Living in the world of fast pace perfection is hard to do being different. Disability different that is. This is the short of my long story.
There was something invading my mind for a few weeks of terrifying thoughts of parts head bursting everywhere. It started with a dream well actually a nightmare… I was thinking of an old friend from college remembering her telling me that they took her father to the hospital for signs of stroke and caught it early. It is most the time thing about why now to reminisce about this after so many years.
Getting out of bed smiling looking forward to the day, light was brightly come in through the windows, cooking breakfast, showering, dressing, birds singing. one I felt through the song they were expressing. I was trying to focus getting out the door. It was the second week back from summer break for the choir at church and I wanted to get there early to set up a few things.
Stop for the basic makeup and here check I thought my facial skin was very pale. Then I started to sweat profusely, drops of my sweat were coming down my arms and legs. Then I was very nauseous and dizzy. I thought if I could just lay down maybe I would feel better. Well, I couldn’t make it over to the bed I fell to my knees. I got up and said I would make a phone call (in the mean time in agony of not knowing what was going on talking to God the entire time asking what to do…)thought I would call the choir director and tell him I did not think that I could make it to church for the choir. I couldn’t keep the phone in my hand have done drop and it is kept on I try again drop try again and we drop.
Then I started walking over to my front door and collapsed to the floor again. I just leaned back and I said God can I just rest here I can close my eyes and just rest feeling exhausted. Well he had other plans all of a sudden I got a burst of energy second wind. And thought I would walk outside. Although my legs would not work.
I started to the door on my elbows. Thinking I got food poisoning or something possibly, because I kept on vomitting so I just kept on scraping my knees and elbows on the way to the door. Then try to open the door could reach the walk after falling to the floor slipping actually sweat. Sweat induced slippery hands and body… Kept on trying the lock again and again. Finally I get the lock unlocked and get my voice out there and it is working at this point I yell at my neighbors to please help me and call 911 and they did.
Unpublished work © 2013 Donna De Guglielmo